


i think i love you but i don't know why

by reginleit



Category: werewolf - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-06
Updated: 2013-12-06
Packaged: 2018-01-03 15:48:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1072280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reginleit/pseuds/reginleit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>drabbles about a roleplay character death</p>
            </blockquote>





	i think i love you but i don't know why

i.

he could easily remember when she blew into town years ago with blisters on her feet and a sunburnt face. flynn had stood with his arms crossed over his chest on the porch, sulkily staring at her while kinsey gave her the pack basics. everything inside of him had burned with resentment with the abandonment of his mother. she hadn't been pretty at that moment. dark circles had shone under her eyes, her face had been sunburnt and her clothes were torn and dirty but despite his anger, he had found himself fascinated by her. he'd never left his hometown and yet here was a girl, younger than him who had left home and travelled miles to come to a strange pack.

even as she submitted to his sister, there had been a certain toughness in her eyes. she may have been small in stature but defiance had glittered bright in her blue eyes. he didn't know what she planned to defy. if she planned to defy kinsey, kinsey would kill her but he didn't think she meant to do that. 

shiloh flicked her eyes to flynn, and the 'wolf had tensed. the corners of her mouth had lifted up in a tentative smile, something that had startled flynn. surprise flickered over his face before he scowled and stalked back into the farmhouse, slamming the door behind him.

 

ii.

 

he had tried to avoid her like he tried to avoid everyone. kinsey didn't understand why he avoided others. flynn knew enough of his sister to know that she thought he should shape up. it was sunday night and the pack was over for dinner. flynn had only grunted in response to questions, much to the irritation of kinsey. he could feel her disapproving gaze down the table, but that wasn't the gaze that bothered him the most. it was that new wolf shiloh. it was /her/. he could feel her blue eyes burning into his back everytime he entered a room and it made his skin roll. 

he kept his seat at the table, anger growing and growing, until he saw her amble off outside. she lived in the farmhouse with he and kinsey now, and he couldn't escape her. didn't mean he wasn't going to try. he pushed away from the table, the chair scraping across the floor. his footsteps were quick as he stalked after shiloh. his own eyes burned with blue fire as her back stiffened, the wind carrying his scent. she turned on the heel of her cowboy boots, staring at him as he stood in front of her with balled fists.

"flynn?"

"stop looking at me." he bit out and her eyes widened at his tone. 

"what?"

"stop goddamn looking at me." he hissed. as she opened her mouth to deny, he beat her to it. "don't you play innocent, holmes. i know you keep looking at me and i want you to stop."

"flynn, i don't got a damn clue what you're talkin' about." she sounded exasperated and it only pissed flynn off more. 

"the hell you don't! everywhere i go, i feel your eyes in my back. judgin' me for what i do. well, what gives you the right to?" he demanded. "you don't have a fuckin' right. who the fuck is a little runaway like you to look a-"

he never got the chance to finish because her hand lashed out before he could. the air resounded with a crack and flynn stepped back, cheek red and raw from where she hit him. fury burned in those blue eyes of hers, causing flynn to wonder if he took it a bit too far.

"y'listen here you stupid boy. you ain't got no goddamn right to speak to me. whatever's got yer panties in a twist, fix 'em because you come lookin' for a fight and im gonna give it to you."

she stormed away from him, leaving flynn rubbing his cheek.

 

iii.

 

he had kissed her years later at christmas. ever since she slapped him, he had been careful around her but in being careful around her, he had slowly gotten used to her presence, even become comfortable around it. she had brought life into the deathly still farmhouse, the sound of her tennessee twang ringing in the air.

he didn't know why he had kissed her at christmas but she had been standing pretty under the lights of the tree and flynn had wanted to touch her. she hadn't looked real but she had tasted real. she had tasted soft and warm too. her soft hands had sunk into his hair and he had hooked an arm around her waist. he had kissed her and then walked away like a coward.

he had played it off like nothing had happened.

 

iv.

 

months later, he had said 'i love you' outside some seedy bar while his pack continued to get drunk inside. his heart had beat in his throat.

she had smiled at him.

 

v.

 

he had just been in bed with her that morning. the mid-afternoon sun broke through the window, past the white curtain to hit the bed and the two people in between the white sheets. flynn’s back flexed as his body undulated, having situated himself in between the legs of his girlfriend. his arms went to either side of her, elbows propping himself up as he gave her lazy kisses along her lower stomach. the sweat from earlier exercises sheened off his body, something that he ignored, too preoccupied with trailing kisses to her ribcage. his lips curved on her skin, tongue flicking out to caress the skin before placing kisses up between her breasts to her neck. to him, time had stopped as soon as he had gotten her in this bed, as soon as his hands touched her skin and as soon as he was able to convey what couldn’t verbally, physically. flynn had never been good with words to those he cared about, especially not to the woman that he loved. he had tried over and over to try and convey how he felt, and while others would have just been offended with the word vomit, shiloh had simply laughed and kissed him. he trailed kisses down her body again, back to her stomach before turning his head and placing it on her stomach. his entire body relaxed but still he held himself so he wouldn’t completely crush her. she looked so delicate and so ethereal that for moments it took him time to remember that she was flesh and blood not some sort of creation that his mind had conjured in his despair. 

her hands sifted through his hair, the repetitive motion causing his eyelids to grow heavy but he refused to sleep. she was a whole other part of heaven for him, something that he didn’t even know that he had been craving. his fingers trailed along her hipbone, almost in an absentminded way before he closed his eyes, proceeding to just listen to the steadiness of her breathing. he loved her, he knew enough of himself to know that. the wolf in him loved her too, loved her wolf. both parts of him loved her and she loved him. she loved every inch of the emotionally deficient, angry werewolf that flynn was. he didn't know if she could hear him when he spoke, he could barely hear himself. "i love you." 

 

vi.

 

flynn cleared his throat, feeling incredibly put on the spot when he stepped toward shiloh. the full moon hung overhead, beckoning them to shift but flynn refused to shift, not yet. the entire pack blinked at him, except for kinsey, zach and indiana. the alpha and two betas simply watched and flynn didn't care to look at their expressions. his gaze was only on the blonde in front of him. she had a brow quirked, blue eyes questioning. "i ain't perfect, freckles." the words came out gravelly, and he saw her confusion grow. despite the feeling of fear in him, flynn didn't regret what he was going to say. he regretted a lot of things in his life, but this wasn't going to be that. 

"I’m not good with speeches or with people, and i can't even blame the mason part of me for that but i wanna try. i need to try for this. i love you, freckles. I want you to be my friend, my lover, the mother of my pups. ain't nothing in this world that's gonna tear me from you, whether it be sickness or death or you leaving your damn boots around so i trip over them." his palms were dry. "i'm so goddamn in love with you. you're the first person i think of when i wake up and the last person i think of when i fall asleep. i can't promise that i'll always say the right thing or make you happy but you can be damn sure that i'm still gonna be thinking of you when i drive you crazy. you're gonna be the death of me and i accept that." his eyes roved over her features. "i love everything about you and i want you to know how much i love you. i never want you to doubt that." heart slamming against his ribs, he dropped to his knees in front of her and stared up into the face that had caused him to believe in heaven.

"will you be my mate, freckles?"

she smiled at him.

 

vii.

 

heaven had become a reality for him. 

 

viii.

 

hell happened months later.

 

ix.

 

flynn pounded his paws against the dirt, the forceful actions causing tingles of pain to jolt up his legs but he didn't mind it. gabrielle was behind with zoe and thom, protecting the other deltas while kinsey, indi and zach battled against this..monster. this chimaera. he lunged forward, already bloody teeth sinking into the paw that the monster had meant to hit zach, blood spurted into his mouth, thick and hot. it slid down his throat as he clamped down his jaws on the creature. he could hear the snarls of his pack mates, but he didn't see the other paw swiping toward his face. it connected with his face, claws raking down the side of his face, across his eye. pain exploded in him, the pain causing his fangs to unclench on the paw and pull back. he still had his eye but blood seeped from the wound on his eye, temporarily blinding him. he heard yips and whimpers as the chimaera shook off his pack mates but a flash of white shot by him. shiloh. she leaped at the chimaera, white fangs flashing and ripping open the beast's shoulder. he could see tawny, black and grey fur and he joined the fray despite his eye, moving to attack beside shiloh. training with zach had done her good, she was swift and fierce. even then, his heart swelled with pride, but it didn't last. 

what they were fighting had been engineered in a lab.

a killing machine.

he didn't see exactly what happened, but he had heard a yelp of pain and white had flew past him again to hit a tree and slump to the ground. time stopped as flynn realized what happened, and as much as he wanted to go to her, the chimaera was still there. slowly, it started to die. pack member after pack member ripped at it, immobilizing it until kinsey ripped its throat out. 

that's when flynn sprinted to shiloh. she lay in a heap of bloody fur on the ground, blood trickling out of several wounds on her body. a whine escaped flynn and he nosed at her side, eyes going to the faltering rise and fall of her chest. shiloh whimpered and he licked at her muzzle, the fur on his back standing up as he felt his packmates near. he kept licking at her muzzle, everything inside of him screaming as he sunk to his stomach in front of her, continuing to lick at her face. he needed to give her comfort. he had to give her comfort. he felt one rasp of her tongue against his own muzzle before she stopped responding to him. she stopped responding to any of them. her chest stopped rising and then suddenly, the pain in flynn's eye didn't even compare to the pure agony that ripped through him with the force of a typhoon.

when the others around him howled their grief, flynn stayed silent. 

he kept silent, for no matter how loud he howled, it couldn't compare to the screaming in his head.

 

x.

 

he stepped into the cabin they had shared. everywhere, her scent radiated with strength. it pricked at the numbness. he didn't know why he thought he could do this. he didn't know why he thought he could come back to this place. the screaming in his head picked up again. air sawed in and out from his lungs but none of it was reaching his brain. flynn reached out for something to hold him steady but missed, forcing him to drop to his hands and knees. his nails bit into the flesh of his temples, clawing at the recurring images of her face.

he just wanted it to stop.

footsteps sounded. heavy footsteps and then the smell of his sister's mate, indiana. flynn didn't even care if he wasn't upholding the 'stoic mason' persona. he couldn't. not anymore.

he rocked back and forth, clawing at his head until indiana dropped down beside him. he waited for her to admonish him, to tell him to grow up, he waited for her to give him some spiel about how mason's shouldn't feel. how they should be fucking steel.

flynn wasn't steel, and maybe she knew that because indiana forced his hands from his forehead. she dragged him to her chest and wrapped her arms around him, almost choking him with the force of her grip but he didn't mind. he curled into her chest, hoping to lose himself.

he wasn't flynn.

not without freckles.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry that i keep using that format. i just like it. when i actually write full stories, i won't use that format.


End file.
